


Worthless

by LigerCat



Series: Why is this a 'verse? [6]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alien Ferb, Alternate Universe - Aliens, Bullying, Chubby Phineas, Eating Disorders, Fat Shaming, Gen, Guilt, High School, I'm Sorry, Name-Calling, Possibly Out of Character, Post Mpreg, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Stress Relief, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenagers, Triggers, Weight Gain, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigerCat/pseuds/LigerCat
Summary: Teenagers are cruel creatures.





	Worthless

**Author's Note:**

> Someone foolishly encouraged me to expand this verse. I don't think this is what they had in mind though.
> 
> I don't own Phineas and Ferb.

Worthless. The word echoed in his head.

Worthless. He'd never been called worthless. The worst thing anyone ever called him before high school was a joke.

Worthless. Was he? The more his peers spit names at him, the more the belief that maybe he was grew.

Glancing in the bathroom mirror, he reflected that it wasn't the only thing growing. When he first noticed he had starting gaining weight, he hadn't thought much of it. Ferb had been eating more, and he'd subconsciously started doing the same. He'd been almost too thin, if he filled out some, it didn't seem like a big deal. Plus, he had figured once the baby was born, they would both go back to eating normally, and he'd lose any extra weight easily enough. He was an active person, it shouldn't have been hard.

So why was it? Phineas grabbed a handful of the fat of his belly, scrunching up in his nose. There was so much of it. How had he let it get this bad?

He knew how. Kinda. High school was stressful. So was helping Ferb with the baby. So was dealing with how much their lives had changed over the summer.

Eating was a strangely good stress reliever. When he was full, he wasn't as stressed. When he was overly full, he was distracted from everything else.

Until he realized he'd gained another pound. But the guilt never stopped him.

He wished it would.

Sighing, he dropped his hand.

Worthless. He couldn't even keep himself from overeating. He had no discipline.

Worthless. He hadn't invented anything since last winter break.

They were right when they called him a pig, maybe they were right about him being worthless too?

But if they were right about that, then maybe they were right when they told him he should just die.

Phineas flinched at the thought. He shouldn't be thinking like that.

But why not? What was the point of going on if he was worthless? If he couldn't do something as simple as watching his weight?

He laughed without humor. But he did watch his weight. He watched it tick up on the bathroom scale.

Slamming a hand against the counter, he groaned. Heck, he felt worthless. He was trying, and he still couldn't do it. He'd lost whatever touch he'd had that allowed things to work out for him.

It would be easier to just die.

But what about his parents? Ferb? Candace? Or did they think he was worthless too?

No, not Ferb. Ferb couldn't. Right?

He swallowed.

Ferb knew him better than anyone. If Ferb thought he was worthless, there wouldn't a be point in going on.

Was there even one now?

It felt like his whole life now revolved around helping care for his nephew and getting bullied at school.

Where was the fun?

Where was the adventure?

Where was the sense of life?

There were razors in the bathroom. He didn't need them yet. Puberty hadn't bought him anything but acne and an occasional crack in his voice that made him cringe. But he knew where they were. It would be easy to get one out.

He wouldn't have to cut deep. He could just cut lightly enough to decide if he wanted to go deeper. Barely more than a scratch.

Despite the thoughts, he didn't make a move to do it.

If he had to talk himself into it, he probably shouldn't do it, right?

He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying not to think about how chubby his face felt when he did.

He didn't want to be worthless. A corpse was next to worthless. Unless the person was signed up for organ donation or something, then they were worth something.

Maybe he'd sign up as an organ donor. Did they have age or weight limits on that?

"Phineas?" The whisper was barely loud enough to hear through the closed door.

Phineas squeezed his eyes. He'd spent too much time in here. "I'll be right out."

Opening his eyes, he grabbed his shirt from where it lay next to the sink and pulled it on. As loose as it was, he could still see every bulge of fat. It would be so easy to do it before Ferb got the bright idea to open the door.

But he didn't want Ferb to be the one to find him like that.

Phineas opened the door. "Sorry. Did you need to use it?"

Ferb shook his head. He looked oddly awake for the middle of the night. But he'd been sleeping weird because of the baby.

"What then?" Phineas flipped off the light, leaving the only light in the hall coming from their room.

"You weren't in bed."

"I had to use the bathroom." He started walking. Even without looking, he could feel Ferb's suspicion.

"Was that all?"

"Yes, that was all." Why wouldn't it be all? Did he do something to raise questions? Phineas forced a yawn. "I'm tired, we can talk in the morning, okay?" He glanced back to see Ferb give a hesitant nod. Hopefully, Ferb would forget about this by then.

Maybe he could too.


End file.
